Sunday 30 April 2023

Even more about trailers.


I've been having endless circular conversations about trailers resulting in this diagram explaining why and how the boat in question will fit very nicely on this particular trailer, but no in the end the owner won't have it and has decided not to splash the cash. He says it doesn't fit, - Utter Tosh - it did however encourage me to write the following treatise; and it would be a shame to waste it. 

At this time of year, living close to the coast, we start to see the annual migration of the rusty trailer as it is dragged from behind the shed towards the coast carrying its cargo of osmosis ridden GRP Cuddy boat all resplendent with air-horns and dysfunctional spot lamps pointing cross eyed at the sky.  This chariot of the eternal optimist can easily be spotted on the verge of any by-pass from Torquay to Skegness where after the first five miles, the worn and salt encrusted bearings have finally ceased their banshee wailing and given up the ghost. The whole edifice lies listing to port, its cross of St George hanging limp and abandoned while the owner drives off the nearest pub to phone his mate with the breakdown truck.

I’ve told this story many times but here we go again; 

When I sold the Whilly Tern to Willem in The Netherlands he couldn’t use my trailer because it wasn’t type approved, so he bought this huge thing, and I brought my trailer home, which was a bit Ironic as I’d just towed the boat on it all the way from Southampton to Amersfoort at motorway speeds without any problem.


Still we all seem very happy about it.

Since then The UK caught up with EU law and introduced the requirement for all NEW trailers to be type approved.

UK has of course now left those European misery monkeys to stew in their own bureaucracy but as a parting snub to the cheese eating surrender monkeys we immediately adopted all EU law into UK law by way of the European Union Withdrawal Act  (ooh Matron!)  Which is why we still need to have new trailers type approved, however the legislation was not retrospective so unlike The Dutch we can still use existing trailers  built from two bedsteads tied together with baler twine, because we are British.

Right now, all over the UK, a veritable flotilla of small craft are being loaded onto their trailers ancient and modern and dragged to the Channel Ports for the bi-annual pilgrimage to The Gulf of Morbihan.  Type approved or more likely not, this cavalcade of British Independence will stick it to La Gendarmerie with a cheery wave of their Blue Passports which exempt them even under EU law from the rigours of Type Approval.  Lets hope they’ve all greased their bearings.

It’s all totally bonkers of course.


Chris Waite said...

I accidentally came across a topic on the HBBR forum today, 09 May 2023

....and on 27 July 2011 someone with a red boat described building a trailer where he stated categorically - "It's not difficult"

On 03 April 2023 he enquired in the same topic regarding the necessary scantlings for an aluminium trolley. In the interim, he has had some, er, musculo-skeletal adventures that have curtailed his weight-lifting programme, (it's a joke) and boat moving to boot. He has also filled several servers with a tsunami of queries and alternatives for wheeled receptacles to take small boats, red, blue, or any other colour. Twelve years later and he's worse than ever.

I despair; I've just weighed an old trolley I have and would gladly donate, except that it's too long and narrow and the boat it is intended for is already in-build in the garage. It was twelve kilograms, with solid rubber tyres which being generous, let's say weigh three kilograms; so a nine kilogram steel frame. Aluminium is about a third the weight of iron, so three kilograms, saving six kilograms. A Heron dinghy like his second boat, apparently weighs about seventy kilograms, on a steel trolley, let's call it eighty kilograms all told, though that excludes any such thing as anchors, oars and any other kit. Forgive my maths, which can be pretty rubbish, but according to my calculator, six (much stronger) kilograms is seven and a half percent of eighty and it's not even being lifted, merely dragged.


I try not to be mean, but - For Heaven's sake

Stop being a dithering cheapskate

"It's not difficult"


Graham Neil said...

Paralysis by Analysis.