I've been married to the same woman for over thirty years, although she does claim I'm still on approval, and she might change her mind any day now.
My dear old dad told me on my wedding day that if I looked after my girl she would look after me. He's not daft my dad, he's been married to his girl for well over sixty years.
My wife puts up with a lot.
She doesn't seem to mind the months and years I've spent out in the garage building things, or the weeks away with the boys playing in boats and camping out under the stars. Just as long as she doesn't have to come. There was a time when she and I could erect our old Vango ridge tent from a sitting start in the front of our Mini Metro in less than five minutes, such is the rain you can get on the west coast of Scotland. She doesn't do that any more. She's not daft my wife.
Having been a serial boat builder and neglecting all the household jobs over the last few years, this winter its been time to catch up with jobs around the house. Now there are far to many make over programmes on telly these days and it doesn't take long before even a fairly modern house can look a bit tired, so we decided to sort out the plumbing.
Our house was built in the early nineties so it was probably designed in the mid eighties when builders were just getting round to fitting the posh new en-suites, but hadn't got it quite right yet. The designers put in large "family" bathrooms and tiny en-suites which in our case meant our daughter had a large bathroom to herself while we squeezed into a fully fitted cupboard.
The cupboard wasn't particularly well designed either, everything was done to make the builder's job easier and quicker so I decided to sort it out. The shower had to go!
In Scotland they used to joke that people who were less than clean kept their coal in the bath, so why does our shower room look like we keep goats and chickens in it? Modern building practices my boy! All our internal walls are made from straw. Highly compressed industrial strength straw admittedly but straw none the less. Its light-weight, quick and easy to erect etc. etc. but a real sod to remove. It refuses to come away in big chunks and just explodes back to its original volume. This little partition filled ten large refuse bags.
The observant will also have noticed the huge gap behind where the loo used to be, which was purely to save the carpenter five minutes when he boarded it out. So that's gone now as well.
The room not only looks but actually is much bigger.
Now my dad needs my attention way up in the North so I'll have to abandon the plumbing for a week or so until I get back when there will be another thrilling episode of Plumbarama.
I'll bet you can hardly control yourselves.